Online dating has become more popular with many singles choosing to use the internet to find love over traditional methods, such as meeting in a bar or restaurant or through mutual friends. If you recently recovered from a bad or abusive relationship, the prospect of online dating may seem daunting or too overwhelming, especially if you are not adequately prepared. Knowing how to navigate online dating after a bad relationship can help you on your journey to finding and creating new and meaningful connections with potential partners.
Decide Whether Digital Dating Is For You
Consider whether online dating is right for you or if it will hinder your ability to move forward with relationships due to the ever-increasing presence of cyberbullying, catfishing, and ghosting. While...more
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a condition that requires those who struggle with it to find ways to cope. PTSD can occur due to a variety of situations, and finding ways to live with the condition helps you move on with your life while still effectively dealing with past trauma. Here are some proven methods for those who suffer from PTSD.
An American is sexually assaulted every 98 seconds, and this is one reason so many people suffer from PTSD. The condition can be brought on by childhood trauma, sexual abuse, or war. No matter why you suffer from PTSD, exercise can help. Exercise is great for physical fitness,...more
Abuse in the workplace involves any behavior that causes physical or emotional harm and includes discrimination, harassment, violence, and bullying. Dealing with abuse in the workplace is difficult, and victims often feel isolated and alone. If you are a victim of abuse in the workplace, you are not alone. This article explores what you should do to combat workplace abuse.
Initiate a Dialogue
If you are being abused at work, it is important to start a dialogue. In some instances, such as with verbal abuse, a person may not recognize that he or she is being abusive. There are several types of verbal abuse in the workplace that could occur, such...more
Many lives have been destroyed by lies and rumors. And even when you are completely innocent of the accusations lodged against you, a considerable amount of damage can be done to both your reputation and your emotional stability. The good news is that not only can you survive after false accusations are lodged against you, but you can also thrive.
Own Your Truth
The first key to surviving false accusations is not losing sight of the truth. When rumor mongers attack with falsehoods against you, it is natural to feel negative emotions like doubt and guilt despite the fact you are innocent. Take the time to remind yourself that you are a good person and not the individual someone is...more
Domestic violence is typically defined as inflicting harm or threatening to inflict harm on a family member or a past or present romantic partner. The term may also be used if an incident occurs between roommates regardless of their relationship status. In some cases, an abuser may harm a pet to inflict abuse on a victim. Let’s look at what you should know about domestic violence and how to get help for yourself or someone you care about.
It Can Happen to Anyone
Both males and females can be abused by a partner, family member or roommate. It can also happen to a person regardless of his or her wealth or religious affiliation. However, domestic violence...more
Sexual abuse is still one of the most underreported crimes today. What complicates things more is that eight out of 10 rapes are committed by someone the victim knows and trusts such as a colleague, former spouse, or teacher.
Victims of sexual abuse are three times more likely to suffer from depression, four times more likely to contemplate suicide, 13 times more likely to abuse alcohol, and 26 times more likely to abuse drugs. Generally, the closer the victim was to the assailant, the more traumatic the abuse becomes since it is a violation of trust.
In recent years, much progress has been made in addressing this crime, and many people have come forward with...more
Stress can produce different emotions in different people. For some, a stressful situation evokes an angry response, lashing out at those nearby to deal with the problem. For others, that same stress may lead to a withdrawal into sadness or anxiety, seeking to be alone and indulging in unhealthy habits. Neither solution is a helpful way to deal with difficult feelings. Here are three positive ways to deal with negative emotions.
When you are experiencing a negative emotion, it can be hard to think straight. When things have calmed down, it is time for a little detective work. Outsmart Your Brain recommends you go back in your mind...more
You may be feeling down due to the challenges of life, but know that it’s not too late to find success. We know you’ve faced many hardships but it’s important to not let that dictate your urge to thrive and survive. Here’s a helpful guide when you want to find your inner strength and need some pointers.
Try a New Hobby or Work on What You Love
Maybe you’re feeling in a rut from working a tedious job. If you have time to take off or if you have a few spare hours during the day, try crafts that you enjoy or for a few hours indulge in an activity that you’ve always wanted to try. When you branch out and try new hobbies such as gardening or photography,...more
The sound of Saturday morning cartoons trickled across the airways in our home as I sat watching my 1 year old eat bananas and strawberries. She really loves bananas and strawberries. She was in her element and I was in mine; I love watching her eat. I smiled, though I felt a little flash of distress that some of it was in her hair and some on her eyelids and cheeks. There was more than a bit on the floor. It was quite a mess, but the delight on her face was priceless. She was totally enjoying herself.
It struck me that she was not just feeding her physical being, but her soul.
I realized that my little darling was asserting her independence. By feeding herself, she may make some mistakes, but it builds her self confidence. She was not just putting food in her tummy, she...more
We can’t deny that we live in tense, stressful times. Add to that the pandemic Coronavirus COVID-19 and already tense situations become near explosive. It is easy to feel panicked and overwhelmed and as if everything is beyond our control. As much as we think we can distance ourselves from all the chaos it takes a mental and emotional toll. It is hard to believe that things aren’t all doom and gloom. Not when every new headline brings fear and despair.
But peace is possible. There are a lot we can’t control but if we learn to control our personal internal space, we eventually feel better and realize there is hope.
Here are a few things you can do to feel calmer and more confident in chaotic times.
- Pay attention to the facts of the issue not the fears of what...
Over the years, domestic abuse and violence have evolved to span the digital world as technology progressed. While it is meant to improve the way we live and interact with one another, sadly, technology has also become a tool of domestic violence. With just a basic knowledge of what’s going on, though, abuse victims can break the cycle anytime they want. Here’s what a victim should look out for to protect themselves from digital stalking and harassment.
Technology and Domestic Violence: What is the confluence?
There have been reported cases of abusive partners demanding email login information, account details and such from their victims. Even if the abusers were willing to offer...more
There was a time in my life when my greatest desire was to get a degree, any degree as long as I had one. I thought if I had a degree, I would feel better about myself and others would accept me. After dealing with sexual abuse and depression I needed validation. I needed something that would make me feel good about myself and be an acceptable shield to hide behind. A degree was it for me.
Before that goal was realized I got married. One day, I sat down and planned how I could get my degree online. In my excitement and with some trepidation I approached my husband (now my ex) with my plan. My well laid out plan was met with silence. He did not look up, he did not respond. Silence.
I was crushed. But something had shifted. When I sat to make that plan, I had initially seen...more
This month highlights the fight against Domestic Violence, and as a survivor, it got me thinking of ways to reduce the horrendous statistics. It brought me back to the beginning of a person. What if parenting was used as a tool against Domestic Violence? If we raised aware boys and girls to become men and women who are wired to respect themselves and each other equally.
What if we raised girls;
- With a strong sense of self
- With healthy self esteem
- To understand what a healthy relationship looks like
- To determine what their emotional needs are and how to have those needs met in healthy relationships
- To not just be pleasers
- To understand the value of their bodies and the person who is inside of them
- To not use their body as...
How quickly the years have flown by since the 1940s when men were at war and large numbers of women headed out into the work force. Since then, the impact of women on the world of work has gone through phenomenal changes and have expanded in ways that were not imagined in the 40s.
Today, many women hold their own in the workforce and have long since graduated from traditional and or stereotypical roles. In some areas the fight for equal treatment and equal pay for equal contribution continues. For some, they are still fighting for the opportunity to explore their dreams and step into the workforce.
However, when I listen to stories or read of the experiences of some of the women of the 40s, a few things struck me.
- Willingness – with the men off to war women were...
On a tiny Caribbean island, I learned to unleash my light. It is one of many islands; quiet, beautiful, laid back. An untouched gem. In a world of high rises and fast developments, it is a refreshing step into a charm and serenity associated with the past. On that tiny 11 square mile island, the vessel that kept my authenticity imprisoned was not just broken but crushed with no chance for repair. Out of that brokenness, my authenticity flowed and on an island nestled in laps of the Caribbean sea, I made my greatest discovery. I discovered who I am.
Let me try to compress this story. When my marriage fell apart, the tiny community that I lived in tore me apart with lies, half-truths and the imagination of what seemed to be a very bored and disgruntled people. The island had just...more
I angrily grabbed at the lizard that clung to my throat, forcibly ripped it from my neck and flung it away from me. My hands flew back to my neck and my eyes flew open. In the last few minutes of my dream the subconscious and the conscious merged. As the frightening images of being attacked by lizards faded, thoughts of dreams invaded my consciousness. Not the noble goals that I wished to achieve, but the things that I thought I am but aren’t. This brought me to thoughts of my step-father and sexual abuse. Suddenly, I felt the searing heat of anger and dislike radiating from my stomach. Tentatively I slowed my colliding thoughts and stepped into my memories. Then clarity struck, I’d hidden my anger.
I trod cautiously across the terrain of this hidden anger. I discovered its...more
I recently observed a child playing with plastic toys and saw how he was intensely struggling with two toys. He was fixated on the red and blue toy. I peered closer, curious to know what about those two toys was so fascinating. On inspection, I recognized he was valiantly struggling to fit a round toy into the square space of another.
I smiled. Too many times I had wasted time and energy trying to fit round situations into square spaces. I had pulled, tugged, sweated, been bruised and battered in the effort. It is like putting on pants that are too small. You jump around like a loose spring, trying to get them past those recently expanded thighs and if you do manage, you then spend a multitude of minutes, contorting the body, sucking in the tummy and twisting into grotesque...more
The sun lazily crawled across the sky, seeking its place of rest. Its fading light cast a seductive glow across the horizon. Swirls of mango and passion fruit fragrance drifted lazily upwards on the steam of the soothing liquid in my cup. There is nothing like a good cup of tea at the end of the day, or any hour of the day as a matter of fact. The delighted giggles of the neighbour’s children bounced off the rays of the weary sun, drawing me from my reflections. Peering through the banister I glimpsed them playing a game of catch. Then came their mother’s voice beckoning them inside. At the sound of their names their heads snapped up and little feet hurried in the direction of the summoning sounds.
Taking a sip of the steamy refreshment, thoughts of names drifted serenely through...more
With a low contented, sleep saturated groan of pleasure, I greeted my Saturday. Sounds of birds filtered through a sleep induced haze. I slowly opened my eyes, gently unfolded myself from my fetal position and relished the feel of cool sheets caressing my skin, With a tiny smile dangling from my lips, I whispered heartfelt thanks for a new day, as the unfolding of my body became a five foot five inches stretch of sheer pleasure. As I settled back into the silence of sleep, the sound of breaking glass ripped into my semi-consciousness, startling me into full awareness. Stunned for a moment, I then realized the sound came from the apartment next door. Hoping that all was well, I tried to grasp at the rapidly fleeting shadows of sleep. After many minutes of futile attempts, I reached...more
The day was ushered in, slowly, gently, on the soothing melodies of my feathered friends. Glancing up I spotted various birds dancing among the canopy of trees above me. Streams of sunlight spilled through random spaces. I inhaled deeply, and then released a contented sigh as my eyes focused on clear water flowing lazily. Near the river’s edge my eyes caught sight of the flowers that littered the bank. Not much varied in the species, except for a plant that caught my attention. Where the others grew on the bank, it stood near the river’s flow. It looked similar to those on the bank, but it was growing beyond the normal spot for its kind.
I sat on a rock and thought about living beyond the lines of normal. The plant stood alone. As humans we are social beings and desire...more